Read the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Other Paid News Sites for Free

At least once in your life I’m sure you’ve gone to read an article linked up from a favorite site only to find a stupid popup asking for a ridiculous amount of money to read the rest of the article. Typically the ad begging for money will block the content or just blur it all out. Pain in the ass. NSFW has a solution you could “hypothetically” use if one were so inclined…

For articles from the WSJ, Forbes, Bloomberg, and most Newspapers

*UPDATE 12/20/19*

Several sites including the WSJ have updated the paywall security. If the Outline method doesn’t work, you will need to use the following updated Github extension link.

Paywall Bypass

*UPDATE 5/20/19*

WSJ will show you the paywall, but if you click X on the ad it will disappear.


Go to

Copy and paste the URL of the article you want to read into the box and click Create Outline.

outline picture

Every now and then, the Outline program just doesn’t cut it and won’t get past the paywall. Business Insider Prime is a good example,  If by chance, the site is down or you can’t get a result to load. Try this next trick…

Most paywalls are bypassed if you disable JavaScript. For people that aren’t total tech nerds, here are the easiest methods:

PC Users: Open Chrome, click this link and install the Toggle JavaScript plugin. Go to the article you want to read and click the icon in your browser toolbar to disable java.  Reload the page. If you use Mozilla (Firefox), you can just click the reader mode to bypass most walls. If you use internet explorer, you better be a card carrying member of AARP… Use a better browser.

MAC users:  Read the most up to date method at the Apple tutorial page for disabling java in Safari

Voila! You’ve “hypothetically” bypassed the paywall and “hypothetically” saved hundreds of $ in paywall news sources. Just remember to switch Java back on when closing out the article so that the rest of your browsing is unaffected. 

DISCLAIMER: assumes no liability for the usage of this information.



**For the more advanced tech guys out there, see below for a chrome extension build to bypass needing to use Outline. You will probably still have cookie popups using this method.

Bypass Paywall 

The NSFW 401(k) Cheat Guide

For the sake of not dying of boredom, NSFW officially recommends just skipping to the questions you actually care about first. This stuff is not fun. The financial industry has ensured that it sounds as boring and complicated as possible. It’s a lot easier to take advantage of people when they’re asleep. **Edited: NSFW has removed a comment referencing Bill Cosby here as it is already a dated reference and not that funny. **


The Basics

What is a 401(k) and why is it called that?
It’s a retirement plan set up by employers that lets workers save and invest a piece of their paycheck before taxes are taken out. Taxes aren’t paid until the money is withdrawn later (ideally in retirement). The name 401K comes from the part of the tax code that created these plans.  The account your plan uses is made specifically to invest for your retirement and nothing else. Another company, called a plan administrator, takes care of and manages the account for both you and your employer.

My company says they will “match contributions”? What the hell are they talking about?
A contribution is the money you put into your retirement plan. The match means your employer will put in the same amount of money that you put in. You put in $100 a month, they will also put in $100. That means you now have $200 to invest with. Generally, an employer will have a maximum amount they will match (around 3-5% a month or per check on average).

What’s the catch? Why would they do that?
The catch is called “vesting”. It means that even though they put that money in there for you, you don’t usually get to keep it for quite some time. Nearly all retirement plans have a vesting schedule. Vesting schedules tell you how long you have to stay with the company to keep the money they “gave” you.  Companies love to talk about the employer match because it sounds like a great benefit (and it can be), but most will never even say the word vesting. It’s quite common for companies nowadays to require people to stay with the company for 5 or more years before they can keep 100% of their employer matches. Any gains that you made from investing the employer’s contribution will ALSO be taken away from you if you leave early. Sneaky Bastards.

How much can you put in to the plan/account per year?
2018 limit = up to $18,500
2019 limit= up to $19,000
Note that these maximums are set by the IRS, not your employer.

Can I invest in anything I want or do I have to choose from the funds specified in the plan?
Just the stuff in the plan. There will generally be a list of 20 or less mutual funds.



How to Willingly Give Wall Street Your Money While Bitching About Wall Street Taking Your Money

(aka Hidden Fees you are probably already paying)


“96% of people know how much they pay each month for streaming media services like Netflix. Just 27% know how much they’re paying in fees on their 401(k) accounts.”

Most people, if they invest at work at all, don’t bother looking at the cost of their retirement plan. Unfortunately, this can really suck away the returns that you make on your money over the long run. When people see a fee like .25% (for clarity that is just a quarter of one percent) they don’t give a second thought, because they’re still not completely comfortable with the idea of compound interest. The chart below can show you how much even a quarter of a percent can affect an investment return over time.

effect of fees on return 30 yearsSource:

Notice that the difference between the blue line and the green line is only .75% in fees. Not even 1%. In 30 years it shaved off around $30,000 from your retirement. So pay attention…


Types of Fees:

Plan Administration Fee = Money you pay the 401k plan administrator for managing your retirement plan. Generally there is no way around this fee while you’re with your employer, but it’s something to be aware of. This is also one of the many reasons why you don’t want to leave your 401k with an employer custodian after you’ve left.

Expense Ratio = The management and operations fees of the fund are generally grouped together into this number. It will be given as a percentage that you will pay each year you have your money in the fund.

12B-1 Fee Money you pay the fund to use for trading commisions at the brokerage and for advertising to other investors. This way you get to pay for marketing, not them. Not even kidding. You probably wouldn’t give them money if they called it Advertising Fee though. 12B-1 sounds fancy and people don’t ask alot of questions. This fee should be already included in the expense ratio.

Load = A sales charge. A load is a fee you pay when putting money into or taking out of a mutual fund. For example, a front-load fee of 1% on the fund means that before they even invest your money, you pay them 1% of all the money you’re giving them to invest. Pretty sweet deal, huh? If you pay the fee when taking the money back out of the fund, that’s called a back-load.

Redemption Fee = Money you pay for taking your money out of a fund too quickly. For example let’s say a mutual fund has a redemption fee for withdrawals before 30 days. You put your money into it. 3 weeks later, you decide you think another fund would be a better investment.  So you sell out of that mutual fund. You get to pay them for selling out before 30 days have passed.

What is a reasonable amount I can expect to pay in fees?
If you work for a large company, expect to pay about 1-2% a year with all fees included. Aim for 1% or Less (expense ratio + plan administration). Smaller companies with retirement plans generally run higher in fees (2-3%+). Aim for not paying more than 2% tops. Generally, when people are even made aware of the fees they are paying, they will make better decisions for fund choices. If a fund commands a higher fee, you may want to make damn sure that it has a long history of outperforming all other choices available.

Funds with higher fees are generally actively managed vs just indexed. The ironic thing is, the cheaper indexed funds usually outperform the stock picking managers (about 90% of the time). So just remember, 90% of the time, you’re best off just picking the index fund(s).

If you want a short cut in finding out how much money you’re giving away FINRA (financial regulator) has a free tool for you.

Fund Fee Analyzer
*Can be used for Mutual Funds, CEF’s, ETF’s, etc.



(A translation guide for that stupid packet they gave you at work)


How your money is split up and used to buy stocks, bonds, or funds.

Equity (equities)


Your money is put into a mix of different types of stocks and bonds.

Your account value is going to swing up and down more, but you have the potential to make more money in the long run.

Your account value will be relatively stable, but you probably won’t make as much money in the long run.

In-between conservative and aggressive. You won’t make the huge gains when the market goes up, but you also won’t lose as much if the market goes down.

Index (indexed)
The fund doesn’t have somebody making decisions on what to buy and sell. The value of the fund tries to match the growth/value of a specific market or theme.  Example, a fund that is indexed to the Dow Jones means you won’t have to buy every company in the Dow Jones. The fund owns all those companies and you will get the cumulative gains and losses of everybody. These funds are (as a rule of thumb) cheaper, better options than actively managed funds.

At least some of your money will buy stocks or bonds from countries other than the US.

The big European countries. Think Germany, France, Switzerland, etc.

Money is at least partially invested in the up and coming countries that aren’t typically considered as well off economically as the US or Europe. Think China, India, Brazil, Russia, etc.

Target Fund (aka TR  2050 or whatever number)
The 4 digit number is the year you expect to retire. A target fund means you pay a manager to allocate your money between stocks and bonds and reallocate regularly in the hopes that by the time you retire they will have invested your money way better than you could have. Hot tip: these funds are garbage and work superbly for Wall Street to bleed money from people who are too lazy to make a few simple, informed decisions.


Quote Source: TD Ameritrade 2018 Survey of 1000 active investors. The percentage of the general population who know about 401(k) fees is far less than 27%.

WALL STREET 101: How to Steal from Market Geniuses and Start Trading Without Money

If you’ve ever tried to learn to play an instrument and were’t completely self-taught, you probably had a teacher who wanted you to start by learning basic, boring shit like scales first. But you didn’t want to learn to play C major or “Hot Cross Buns” (why did they act like people knew wtf hot cross buns are?) you wanted to play the songs you knew and liked. The best way to get to learning and stay interested is to get a jump start with the things that don’t make you feel like downing a bottle of painkillers.

That being said, you don’t get excited to learn about investing and making money by looking at boring ass charts and math problems. Enter screeners and paper trading. A screener is a tool where you put in some criteria of what you’re looking for and boom, there’s a list. In this case, the first ones we like to start people with are ones where stock market wizards set all the detailed criteria and spit out their suggestions. It’s not important in the beginning to know what all the criteria means, just that somebody who knows (or knew) their stuff thinks the stock (company) is worth a look.

The second part of the equation is paper trading. If you don’t have a brokerage account or any money to invest with, it doesn’t mean you can’t start learning this stuff. In our opinion, it may actually be better to learn when you still don’t have much. That way when you’re in a better position financially, you’ll come in with some financial know-how and won’t be so intimidated. Paper trading is a market simulation where you can buy and sell stocks with virtual money. You get the experience of putting in orders, learning terminology, and watching your account go up and down without the risk of blowing your hard earned cash in “school”.


Part 1: Find Some Stocks to Trade

For the screener, we recommend a free new site called MeetInvest. It’s a new kid on the block, but has by far the best guru screening criteria out there. They have a ton of famous Wall Street stock pickers and adhere very closely to the things the guys really look for. It’s genuinely shocking that this isn’t a paid service site.* So sign up for a free account there first (they really just need your email)

To get you rolling as fast as possible, we can tell you that your best bets for Gurus/Strategies to start with are going to be Peter Lynch and Patrick O’Shaughnessy. Both of these guys have some fantastic screening criteria (we’ll learn more about how they choose what they choose later) and they’re the most likely to give you the most companies that you are already familiar with.

So sign up on the website first. Then here’s how to get the list…


Click on My Stocklists on the home page.





Click Create new stocklist on right hand side of the next page



Enter a name for your list. Click how often you want to be notified of new stock picks (Notification frequency). Click the boxes next to the 2 names mentioned before: Patrick O’Shaughnessy and Peter Lynch. Then click the box next to United States under North America in Countries of Interest.


meetinvest step 3



Click Create stocklist at the bottom of the page and you’re in business. That results list of confusing crap is the Wall Street gurus picking the real sh*t for you!


F*ck a bunch of C majors and Hot Cross Buns

Eastbound and Down/HBO


Now run down the list that it gives you and see if you recognize any of the names of the companies in the Short Name column. If you do, write down the 1-5 letters it gives you to the right of their name under the column labelled Ticker. Don’t bother writing down the letters US, as that is just telling you that it trades in the United States. For example, if you know what the CME group is, you would just write down the letters CME. Those letters (called the ticker or symbol) are how Wall Street identifies companies trading on the market.



So now that you have a few companies and their symbols written down, look over in the column labelled MI Trend. See all the red and green arrows? You want to see which of the companies you wrote down have a green arrow next to them. You may only find one or two and that’s completely OK. The green arrows are a technical indicator that mean the stock is in an uptrend (going up in price) at the moment based on some technical criteria. Technical analysis has to do with the stuff you see on those fancy Wall Street-y charts they show you in movies and on TV. For now, all you need to know is that the damn arrow thing is green.



Part 2: Buy the Stocks with Virtual Money

Now we’re going to “buy” those companies you picked out. Remember: they should be companies that you know, that also have a green arrow.  In another tab or window open up the paper trading Investopedia Simulator.

Now when you start signing up for a free account here, uncheck all the boxes that it has pre-filled for you for offers and newsletter garbage. Next, Skip the partner offers. Eventually you will reach a screen that says Thank You for Subscribing!


Because they want you to go check your email like a bunch of a*sholes, it’s not immediately obvious that you can just click SIMULATOR in the middle of the top of the page.

On the new page, click any one of the boxes in the Join A Game section and click Join Selected Games.



If you did everything right you’ll reach a screen that looks like this.



There are plenty of tutorials on the site explaining how to use the simulator so this is where you get to figure the rest out. The next steps:

1. Put in Buy orders for the stocks you picked using the symbols (the stock/companies 1-5 letter code).

***Bonus points if you change the order to limit, put the price in at a few cents below where the current price is, and change the Duration to Day Order. These changes aren’t just for fun, they are how you will usually submit nearly all orders (real or fake) in the future. Only rookies use Market orders (which buys or sells at the next available price vs. you dictating what you will pay) and you want to learn to buy and sell like the pros. If the order doesn’t go through, it may be because the market is closed, so you’ll have to re-enter the trade tomorrow or change the Duration to Good Till Cancelled.***

2. Create a Watchlist of other companies you like or from the screener to buy in the future. It’s also a good idea to take companies listed in the screener and Google them to see what they do. They may make some products you already buy or do some really interesting stuff and you may want to buy them with actual money down the line.


So that about does it…

You learned how to find some promising companies you know that the pros would probably buy (screeners), what a ticker symbol is (the 1-5 letters used to identify stocks or funds), a simple way to see if its in an uptrend already (MeetInvest green arrows), and how to place an order. Believe it or not, these steps alone and the stocks that you picked already put you ahead of the pack when it comes to the average “investors” in the world.

ice cube good day



*The reason it’s free is because the guys behind it are essentially selling robo-advisor technology (that’s algorithms that make recommendations instead of people) to financial institutions. This screener is an example of this technology.
**If by the off chance you have a TD Ameritrade account, look up how to get started paper trading on their ThinkorSwim Platform. You only need a deposit of $10 in your TD account to get access to the ToS paper trading. This platform is WAY more advanced than Investopedia and really only recommended if you’re not a beginner.